Sunday, January 20, 2008
WI: Crossroads -- Reinventing Ourselves
I've just recently returned from visiting with my best friend, whose husband has passed away, whose life is at loose ends. It's an enormous change, a letting go (when you don't want to let go). One of my favorite writers, an anthropologist/poet named Loren Eiseley, once wrote of that point which occurs sometime in everyone's life, when "the kaleidoscope through which we look at life shifts" and nothing ever after looks the same. She has known this shift and letting go before (as we all have, and probably will again). She said then, "The nights are worst. I'm so filled up with a hurt that won't go away."
I think hurts like this don't go away. They become scars. There was a time when men wore their battle scars with pride. These scars demonstrated the fact that while they may have been sorely wounded, they were survivors, and they had not merely survived, but had, as William Faulkner said of heroes, ENDURED.
While I was surfing around the blogs tonight, I came across something written by V-Grrrl in the Middle, the day after Christmas, something I think is profound, something I would like to share with my best friend: "I want to dwell in possibility and see my life and my self as works in progress. I don't want anyone to chart a course for me. I want to travel through life without an itinerary. At this stage in my journey, I need to believe that I'm not done surprising myself, discovering new interests and talents, making new friends, embracing challenges, and finding new sources of wisdom and strength."
So, KK, this one's for you. I *heart* you, scars and all. You (and all the rest of us) are works in progress, and are never done surprising ourselves!
Thank you, V-Grrrl.