Monday, March 19, 2007

Where Do Pets Come From?

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in he garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us." And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves." And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, "I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you. His name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, "I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. This companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration." And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them.

And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.

(Thanks to my good friend Bob Johnston! --and this is a photo of my Dog, Lucky.)



Angie said...

I do know one cat who acts like a dog, though. Everyone's so confused by a cat who treats humans nicely.

I love my pets! Thanks for this post!

Pam said...

LOL! I love it and intend to share this with my family, pet lovers, all.
Nice picture of your pooch.

Tammy said...

LOL That was so perfect! You're doggie is beautimus! XXOO

Nienke said...

They do seem to lose some of their supremacy when they're stuck up a tree (last night). Like 40 feet.

Nienke said...

Oh, and Lucky is gorgeous!

desert rat said...

Hee hee. Great story. I've been totally out of the loop lately, so belated congratulations on becoming the newest Poetry Thursday columnist! Enjoyed the first installment and will be on the lookout for more. Cheers!

Paul Bunyan said...

Yer pik uf da dog looks lyk glamor phodo

chiefbiscuit said...

So true!

pepektheassassin said...

Paul, ve lost both da dogs last veek--vun came back, da udder ve hat to get back from da pound! :(

Is goot now der back! :)

Crafty Green Poet said...

This is wonderful, I really enjoyed it and it is so true, but, and for me personally it is a very large but, what about the rabbits???

z said...

This really made me laugh. Because, ain't that the truth! Hah!

Norma said...

This is hilarious. We have a cat. She has issues, but we love her and she does like to cuddle--when she feels like it.

I'll link to this!

Pet lover said...

LOL you got me I actually thought this was from bible or something, That is until I got to the part of The cat didn't give a SH&T one way or the other. Thanks for some good reading.

k said...

OMG, how exactly on target! I never say this but: LOL indeed!