backache
backache
flattens me
gin in the veins
might help
tonight I fly on brittle bones
out of this skin
this old pain
disconnects
my top and bottom
halves
sleep waivers like mirages
in a white fossil sea of aspirin
that dulls the saw
between deeper jacknifed vertebrae
this great grey sleep of bone
sucks me dry
(painting, Salvatore Dali: My Wife, Nude, Contemplating Her Own Flesh Becoming Stairs,
Three Vertebrae of a Column, Sky and Architecture, 1945)
.
23 comments:
Indeed, we did write about the same thing; only yours is so much better than mine!
"sleep waivers like mirages
in a white fossil sea of aspirin"
is just perfect.
You have succeeded where I floundered.
I am sorry that you hurt. :(
I like the poem and how the pain makes strange visions happen.
Hope you feel better.
Rose
xo
I like the "gin" line. I understand the pain in your poem.
(((hugs)))
I love this poem - and I am completely IN TUNE WITH THE BACHACHE OF IT! As someone who suffers this afflication, I just want to say: you hit the nail on the head. I love how the accompanying picture made me think you were going to write something else - then you wrote "Bachache" and I instantly got it: it was the spot on the nude's back my eyes were drawn to first, that damn low back of persecution! So well done.
Such a powerful poem about pain! I know what back pain is like and your poem nails it! Hope you feel better soon!
Love this Dali painting. I am a great fan of his.
I like the verse too!
Ouch! Whazzzzuuupppp with this? My back has been giving me fits today! I've had my back going out(without me! lol) usually at least one bad spell per year but haven't had that for at least 2 years and today it scares me once again! HOPE yours comes around soon! xo,Cinda
Fantastic poem! I felt my back ache reading it and my back's fine. I'm sorry you are feeling this horrible pain :(
PS I love the painting
I just love this poem. It describes the separation of mind from body and its pain expertly - and the mind-altering substances are cleverly drawn in. A fine poem about pain and the way the mind plays with the body during a pain-riddled sleep enhanced (skewed?) by aspirin-riddled hallucinations.
The palpability and the simultaneous untouchability of pain. it changes all the world around us. You've described the vision well.
rel
Sorry to hear you too live in pain. Wish I could take aspirin, but the best I can do is Tylenol to take an edge off. The painting is gorgeous and S. Dali is one of my all time favorites.
I hope your pain is not chronic but passing.
Your poem of pain touches the heart.
Stunning poem, with all the dessicated, white, bone-dry imagery, and the lining that suggests the separate vertebrae, the fracturing and slipping. Wow.
EVERY sing line is my favorite. The flying on brittle bones...sings a solo though.
brilliant!
Thanks, everybody! (It's not as bad as it sounds....)
LOL--chief, that's me: ASPIRIN-riddled! (I'm always on the street, looking for MORE!)
rat, sea--flounder--your comment sounds very "fishy" to me! In fact, your poem was successful.
dewy, thank you.
brian, I needed that. Back at ya!
poet, what spot? Oh, THAT lower back spot! I was looking for a mole or something!
everyone, thanks for your kind comments and your concern: makes me feel better already!
Poet! THere really IS a spot there! (enlarge the picture by clicking!)
Yes indeed! A mole AND a "dark epitome"
Good one!
I know this poem well. Runs in my family. Wonderful.
I can feel ths pain in this poem, I love the lines:
'sleep waivers like mirages
in a white fossil sea of aspirin'
Hope you feel better soon.
Wow! You have some fine words here! Man! Every word is strong, strong, strong. The flow, the rhythm, the sound. Awesome. I like how you've set it up, too.
backache
flattens me
The word backache actually flattens "me." Cool. "tonight I fly on brittle bones" flies right on into "out of this skin." Also cool.
I really like this poem.
I would never know where to start in writing about physical pain. I just wouldn't. I would overwrite or say things that are obvious. But you've approached this so well, so wonderfully.
salvador was a funny guy wasn't he? i could identify with the ache in the spine
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